As we approach the end of 2023 I am reflecting on what matters. Of course, this needs some context. What matters to me and what should matter to other people are two very different approaches to the topic. My focus here is on my own experience over the course of my life, and openly sharing it in the public domain. Perhaps I can inspire a few others to do likewise.

What mattered to me as a young boy was getting my first bicycle. What mattered to me as a teenager was finishing high school and getting a girlfriend, achieving one success and one miserable failure. After high school, what mattered to me was getting a car, getting a job and leaving home.

While still in my teens, what mattered in a life-changing way was responding to a call from God to follow His way. I joined a church that decades later I began to see was really a benign Christian cult. I told that story as Part 1 - My Cult Experience, the first chapter in My Spiritual Journey.

As a young man, what mattered to me was finding a wife and getting married, which I did while too young and immature. What mattered even more than that, having childish ambitions, was building a career, which got off to a very good start. What mattered was building skills and credentials and I achieved status as a professional accountant in Canada at the age of twenty-five, earning a Gold Medal in the process. What also mattered to me was owning a home, and I bought my first house at age twenty-eight, achieving a status above renters, or so I thought at the time.

What mattered to me in my early thirties was getting ahead and making progress. But in my late thirties I was stopped dead in my tracks as I hit a career plateau combined with a serious spiritual crisis. I was experiencing a male midlife crisis and what mattered at the time was resolving these deep, unexpected issues.

What began to urgently matter was finding a way to exit a cult while simultaneously preserving my marriage and I succeeded with both. Forced by the loss of my Christian faith, I was able to rebuild my worldview with a strong secular foundation. I also successfully reoriented my career, another story for another time.

My forties was a good decade for me as I enjoyed life with newfound freedom. What mattered was custom building a new home in a better part of the City of Calgary. What mattered was doing a lot of hiking in the Canadian Rocky Mountains on weekends. 

Then I turned fifty. Once again, my career had taken a significant downturn which cascaded into financial struggles, serious mental health problems and marital challenges. What mattered for about a five year period was surviving, getting through a day, a week, a month, a year. And survive I did. And beyond survival came recovery and thriving.

In my later fifties what mattered greatly was preparing for retirement. In my church days we faithfully tithed and gave generous offerings. Consequently, we perhaps had treasure in heaven but not enough treasure on earth to have any hope of a good retirement in Canada. What began to matter was finding acceptable alternatives.

As I turned sixty, my career suddenly ended with termination without cause and what mattered was adjusting to retirement. What mattered was navigating a major transition as we moved to our current location in Mexico. After some bumps in the road, it became clear to me that what mattered most in the final chapter of my life was my personal thriving, which is not quite as selfish as it may sound.

What matters as we journey through life can change dramatically from decade to decade. But there are some things that matter which are evident at every stage. For almost all of my adult life, five themes were with me most of the time.

I discovered a love of running as a teenager and I continue to indulge this passion. I developed a love for books and reading as a teenager and that has never faded. I became interested in geopolitical issues and current events in my last year of high school and that remains important to me now. I married young and have had the same intimate companion as we journeyed through life together, although we also weathered several big storms. And I have always had plenty of friends to talk to, although not always the same ones.

There is an easy way to determine what really matters to someone, better than merely accepting what people profess. The best indicator is how we spend our time, a finite resource that we all have in an equal amount. I am fortunate to now be retired and I have plenty of time to allocate to my various priorities at my own discretion.

For anyone looking for resources to help with thinking about What Matters, this Wikiversity resource developed by Leland Beaumont is excellent. I am particularly pleased to see that this course includes Significance and Transcendence as sections. And I am pleased to see What Matters/Psychological Needs and What Matters/Spiritual Development as subsections, although there is lots of room for making these considerably more robust.

In retirement, each year of my life has a theme and for 2023 it is Overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with articles and books I wanted to read, videos that I wanted to watch, podcasts that I wanted to listen to, and people I wanted to Zoom with. And it did not matter to me to be in this state. But my theme for 2024 is Focus, Focus, Focus.

Below are what I hope to focus on in 2024, what I think matters to me at this time.

Physical Fitness

Being a runner, I have very good cardiovascular fitness. But I want to expand my exercise program by adding variety. I intend on also focusing on stretching exercises and I would like to explore isometric exercises.

Psychological Fitness

It is my expectation that the metacrisis will intensify in 2024. It is my expectation that irrationality will continue to spread in 2024 in potentially disturbing ways. It is my expectation that the impact of AI will hit us hard in 2024 in ways that cannot be predicted, although I share the growing concern over deep fakes. Consequently, I believe it will be more important than ever to maintain psychological fitness. No matter what happens, we best not despair. I may try again to develop a habit of meditation. I will try to expand my practices of mindfulness. And I will avoid culture war like the plague.

Marital Fitness

About this I will say very little as my wife prefers to keep details of our relationship very private. I will say that my wife is my best friend and closest companion. Unlike the newly married me, I will not take this relationship for granted.

Spiritual Fitness

I have renewed interest in this area, albeit from a secular and naturalistic perspective.

I have numerous projects that matter to me, although a couple of them are stuck, waiting for the others to join me.

Projects

I do not understand people who are bored with life.

Quoting from What Matters on Wikiversity:

Life is not a dress rehearsal! Socrates declared: "The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being." Helen Keller recognized that: "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing!" So how should you spend your time to attain fulfillment and live a meaningful life? What is most significant to you, your family, your community, nation and the world? How does what matters most change as your needs are met, as you gain experience, and as you grow and mature?