David Bryen
June 6, 1948 - September 20, 2023
I first became aware of David Bryen at Open Circle. He was a regular speaker and later a co-coordinator until the program was turned over to the Lake Chapala Society during the pandemic. He was not a big presence in his role as leader because, gratefully, he was not a man driven by a big ego.
As I was launching the Ajijic Book Club, I learned that David had written a book, Riding off the Edge of the Map, which I read and reviewed. It became the second selection of our new Club and was the focus of the October, 2016 meeting. David attended and that was the start of a relationship that has grown into an ever deepening friendship.
We are quite different from each other in many ways.
David worked as a self-employed psychotherapist and never had a boss. He built expertise in depth psychology based on the work of Carl Jung. On one occasion David was at an event that Pat and I also attended. When we next met, David said something to me that greatly impressed me. He had seen an aspect of Pat's personality that almost no one notices because she hides it so well. David can see a person's soul better than most people.
David loves working with exotic wood and has a well equipped shop. That was a favorite refuge for him during the pandemic. As the photos show, his work is beautiful, artistic. He recently gave me a spoon as a gift, one specifically designed to scoop peanut butter from a jar. For me, a day without tools in my hands is generally a good day. I have two left hands and ten thumbs and I lack the soul of an artist.
David is an excellent writer, a skill I admire. He has shared some partially completed writing projects with me that I want to see finished. This frustrates me and I nag him about this but he does not mind. He is unmoved by what I want of him and he is fully in control of how he lives his life.
David and I get together regularly, usually at Pranzo, a local restuarant in walking distance for me and he arrives on his motorcycle. Often we both order french fries and a frappuccino. And we talk, usually for a couple of hours of very meaningful conversation.
David has noticed in me my deep longing for connection and community. I shared with him that a psychotherapist once told me that I had an unhealthy fear of being alone. He responded with a radically different perspective I had never heard before. "Deify the longing," he said. That beautiful little phrase will stay in my mind forever.
David shared with me that the the petal of longing is one of the Seven Petals of the Rose. I prize my copy of his unfinished article. If he ever finishes it, I would want to share it with everyone I know, although it would not be meaningful to many of my family, friends and aquaintances. David has no ego need to publish and has a sense of a completed life very much at peace with uncompleted projects. He captures his own mood with the idea that it is time for him to come home. I am intrigued by this as I am in a very different space.
A few years ago, David gifted me his book THE MAN LOVES THE WINE SHE SERVES THROUGH HER BODY, An Erotic Encounter with the Divine Feminine, published in 1999. It has been sitting on my bookself unread. It is now my intention to began reading it on June 6th as a way to celebrate the life of David Bryen, my dearest friend at this time. Perhaps I will write a commentary on David's book of poetry. And I have his voice in my head saying, "It's not about the poetry, it's about the metaphor."
I also have a mess of disorganized pages of another book David is working on. He feels no urgency to finish it either, but I sense in it something useful and important. It is my view that every life has something to contribute to the collective wisdom of human beings. Perhaps I am right about this. Perhaps I see something important in David Bryen that he does not see. Or perhaps my opinion is merely the manifestation of my own ego.
David and I have been out for dinner as a foursome with our wives a couple of times. We are all comfortable together, a pleasant experience. Gloria is quite chatty in a very pleasant way and Pat is a good listener so we all complement each other.
In December, 2021 David suffered his second stroke. Fortunately, the resulting brain damage did not affect his mind but he needed physiotherapy to learn how to walk properly again. I visited David in his home in January and I was impressed by how he was processing this experience. He had felt angry for only a couple of hours after the stroke and then quickly found his peace of mind. Now six months later he has almost fully recovered.
Recently David organized A farewell to Margaret Van Every, Ajijic 2022 which was nicely captured by our mutual friend, Phil Rylett. David, Margaret and I shared a connection through Open Circle. There were about 25 people at this event and I was very pleased to have been invited.
I attended David's Open Circle Presentation and I am hoping that the YouTube link will indeed come soon. (I later learned that thr recording of this presentation was lost.)
Open Circle Ajijic
February 6, 2022
Presentation by David Bryen : Intolerance, Polarization, and the Longing for Community
YouTube link: Coming Soon
I had an encounter with David's encounter with the Divine Feminine, a story he tells in his own way in his book THE MAN LOVES THE WINE SHE SERVES THROUGH HER BODY An Erotic Encounter with the Divine Feminine.
Open Circle 2023.01.08 by David Bryen: The Four Desires?
In his 1950 Nobel acceptance speech, philosopher Bertrand Russell claimed that — once survival needs have been met — all human behavior is motivated by acquisitiveness, rivalry, vanity, and love of power. In this presentation entitled "The Four Desires?", David Bryen will invite us to evaluate whether these motivators alone are sufficient to illuminate the yearning for fulfillment of our deepest human longings and lift the veil that shrouds our truest desires. David promises to provide no answers, but invites us to explore the hungry nature of the complex human soul, in the hope that this inquiry will encourage and equip us for dialogue with others and thereby heal rather than feed the divisions that increasingly separate us. In his published books, his poetry, his love for wood, David has long been a voice working to awaken the sensations of the soul. He retired to Ajijic from his psychotherapy practice in 2012. He's raced sailboats, built his own house, been a lifetime motorcyclist, motorcycle safety instructor, master wood craftsman, and for 5 years served as the coordinator of Open Circle. This will be his 11th presentation at Open Circle.
Unfortunately, my dear friend is now facing some significant health challenges.
On August 6, 2023 I received an email from David and I knew instantly that it would be the last one ever from my dear friend.
"I think this photograph captures the joy that emanates from a deep place. Please remember me this way."
Obituary
Memorial Service - November 12, 2023
The Unpublished Writings of David Bryen