It is quite a challenge to describe my life as I am trying to do on this website. Words and pictures are inadequate for capturing a lived experience. Some things this month seem very meaningful deep inside me, more than the words can convey.
More and more, I have been appreciating the time Pat and I spend together chatting in the mornings. I am often up for at least an hour before she joins me. I have had my coffee and my mind is fully alert. Early in the morning I seem able to articulate thoughts much better than later in the day. And Pat understands what I am trying to say and she has been this way ever since our first date.
Someone labeled the coronavirus crisis as The Great Pause, a description that resonates with me. In March many normal activities stopped, at least temporarily. Pat and I have been in mostly voluntary quarantine ever since. It made no sense to even think about the future because everything seemed so uncertain. We soon adjusted to our new way of living as we began using shopping and delivery services. We felt a new sense of calm as we lived a less hurried lifestyle. We felt much gratitude for being retired, no jobs to worry about. And COVID-19 did not directly affect anyone we know personally so the misery was something out there, on TV, away from us.
But our wonderful great pause ended this month. There were important matters that we had parked for six months that now needed to be addressed. One big one is the challenge we face nationalizing our vehicle, a source of considerable stress. And we took early steps towards becoming permanent residents of Mexico. And we needed to consider the renewal of our major medical policy in light of the coronavirus crisis. And I needed to consider and confirm my Open Circle speaking invitation. And repairs and maintenance tasks parked for six months began to take on renewed importance. All of these items involve both Pat and I together and therefore relationship dynamics come back into play. However, it also seems to me that I also experienced more moments of joy than in the past.
While facing our vehicle problem, I also need to confront and manage my own emotional reactions to the matter. The problem is of my own making and I have no one to blame but myself. In 2011, while preparing for our move to Mexico, I did not adequately research all aspects of taking a vehicle into Mexico. In 2012 I bought a new Nissan Xterra which we drove to Mexico later that year. That vehicle will become illegal in a few months. Big problem. To date, I have not found a solution and I am exploring all my options. This is a case where I will need to choose the least bad option.
Our time is our life but much of our time is spent on routine matters - sleeping, eating, personal hygiene - not worth writing about. Other activities are only worth mentioning once in a while - chores, gardening, exercising and relaxing. It is my free time that is most interesting, especially now that I am retired.
Of note this month was the return of spectator sports to television. I enjoyed watching the Toronto Raptors play basketball although they lost game seven of round two, ending their season. I continued to enjoy watching golf and I enjoyed the return of the NFL.
I made a major change this month, one I had been thinking about for a couple of months, not sure what direction to go. It was very significant to me but will probably seem minor to those reading these words. For the past two years I have been a supporting member of the Spiritual Naturalist Society. My contribution was small, only $US10 per month, but it reflected my psychological commitment. I cancelled my SNS support and I became a supporter of The Stoa, also at $US10 per month. My action is small but it reflects a big shift in my thinking. And subjectively it feels very good. I particularly enjoy the daily email from Peter Limberg, the steward of The Stoa.
Through The Stoa, I became aware of Collective Presencing by Ria Baeck. It became the October selection of the Ajijic Book Club and I have read the first seven chapters. This also feels very significant and I will have much more to say about this in October.
Also of note this month was a deeply meaningful email exchange with my friend Henk Wilms, which I hope to say more about in October.
And, always enjoyable, Pat and I enjoyed another Zoom visit with our friends Ken and Trish Lewchuk.
I continued expressing myself by writing essays, this month About Homo Sapiens and Viruses, posted September 16, 2020.
I also began a new activity this month, putting together jigsaw puzzles using the Microsoft games program on my computer. I was surprised how much I enjoyed the challenge. And it connected me in my thoughts to my mother who still loves this activity in her 101st year of life.
The Ajijic Book Club again had a successful Zoom meeting with 9 attendees discussing James Baldwin: The Last Interview: and other Conversations. Attendees were able to tackle very difficult race issues without even one moment that was uncomfortable. Using Zoom enabled members now in Hawaii, Alaska, and California to attend and I enjoyed seeing their faces again.
I watched the Presidential debate and wrote an article, Donald Trump, The Chaos President.
Finally, on the last day of the month, I needed to deal with an urgent problem. I received an email from my insurance broker that my credit card payment had been rejected. I phoned HSBC Mastercard and was informed my card was blocked pending my confirmation of two transactions. I checked my account online and saw that they were not my purchases. Earlier in the month we had recieved an urgent email from HSBC security concerning a transaction from the UK on Pat's card, definitely not ours. We were advised it would be credited back to us and, although very strange, we thought that would be the end of the matter. But now there were two more similar transactions on my card from the same vendor. This now required the cancellation of this Mastercard account, a major inconvenience. I was on the phone with HSBC for more than an hour, a very frustrating experience. And I then had to pay my insurance using another credit card. But I managed to work through the problem without triggering major anxiety and ruining my day.
Readings
I’m talking about conspiracy theories related to false flag attacks, Deep State, Illuminati, Freemasons, QAnon, Flat Earth, shadow government, or any other belief system that hinges on the assumption that much of our lives are controlled by plots hatched in secret places by a select few individuals.
The above article was brought to my attention by Pat.
The COVID Silver Linings Playbook by MOHAMED A. EL-ERIAN
These six silver linings constitute only a preliminary list of the opportunities offered by the pandemic. The point is not to discount the severity of the shock and uncertainty that have confronted the majority of the world’s population. The pandemic has lasted much longer than many expected, and continues to leave tragedy and destruction in its path.
At one time I was much more interested in economic matters and I often read articles by El-Erian.
How people coped in lockdown by Jules Evans
The first wave of COVID caused huge suffering, and has led to warnings of an ‘epidemic’ or ‘tsunami’ of mental health problems. But there is another, more hopeful story to tell, about how people coped and even thrived during the adversity of 2020. It’s important to remember this as we head into the winter and a likely second wave.
The Road Ahead: Charting the coronavirus pandemic over the next 12 months — and beyond by Andrew Joseph September 22, 2020
In this project, STAT describes 30 key moments, possible turning points that could steer the pandemic onto a different course or barometers for how the virus is reshaping our lives, from rituals like Halloween and the Super Bowl, to what school could look like, to just how long we might be incorporating precautions into our routines.
Can we imagine collapse to be exhilarating? by Ria Baeck Jun 28
From my experience as a therapist, I know that people need to be prepared and capable to feel and see the full horror and pain of their situation or history, only then are they able to turn to what else is possible. When sensing and feeling the possibilities, that is when we can feel the full and deepest excitement... Even if we sense the new possibilities, most likely we will not see the path ahead clearly, as we need to ‘make the path by walking’.