Five months ago the Crafting Communitas Crew at Emergent Commons began meeting. We have now completed our mission and it is now time to reflect on what transpired. However, of course, when describing any lived experience words are inadequate and that is certainly true in this case.
I will identify my fellow travelers in this journey by only their first names - Tom, Kimberly, Michael and Leilani.
I did not have clearly defined expectations beyond what I identified in Crafting Communitas - An Invitation. Nevertheless, I do have a sense that those expectations were exceeded. It is also my sense that this was a very positive experience for all participants.
We seemed to soon become comfortable together as a group. I attribute this to our shared membership in Emergent Commons and our shared commitment to its Community Guidelines. I read these again today and upon reflection, we lived these values, albeit imperfectly.
The biggest frustration I experienced was logistical and was due to my lack of skill using Zoom on several occasions. And initially we held sixty minute meetings but soon expanded them to ninety minutes which was better. And the experience was bigger than our ten scheduled meetings. We also communicated with messages on the chat and several of us had one-to-one Zoom sessions as well. And we were all participating in other Emergent Commons activities at the same time.
In aggregate we were together as a group for about fourteen hours. I had asked for a commitment of attendance at ten meetings, a big ask about which I had some doubts, but it was fulfilled by everyone. This may seem like a small point, but when we honor our commitments trust levels go up and trust is important.
Our group was a private crew and much of the story is not mine to share publicly. I will go as far as my comfort level takes me. But I will say that every participant has an interesting life story to share as they see fit.
In our second meeting we shared our journeys to Emergent Commons. Four had a common experience, the Rebel Wisdom route, shared by many EC members. But my journey was through The Unstoa Discord diaspora and I appreciated learning more about the founding of EC.
In one of our early meetings, one member unexpectedly shared some current personal pain and suffering. I reacted overly defensive and, fortunately, others were more supportive. But the dynamics in the group enabled us to process this as a group and as a learning experience. It certainly was for me personally. From that point on, I think we all experienced our Crew as a very safe space.
In another meeting a member shared their very personal story of their spiritual emergency in considerable detail. It is hard to describe in words the intimate connection this affords. Collective experiences like this are priceless.
People have layers. In a small group it becomes possible to go deeper than what would be wise in large groups. And people have egos. One of the profound learnings for me in this experience was uncovering aspects of others that they had no ego driven need to share. Unknown aspects of complex beings came to the surface in the natural flow of our interactions.
It is my sense that there are many members of Emergent Commons who on the surface do not seem particularly interesting but are actually quite fascinating people.
It so happened that on one morning of a scheduled meeting day I was triggered by something someone posted on Emergent Commons. I am not often triggered but still more often than I would like. And I realized that this was not really about the post itself. I vented at that meeting and my crewmates let me talk. They did not automatically agree with my perspective and I did not expect them to. But I did feel supported and I appreciated the opportunity to process my feelings in a healthy group environment. I woke up the next day feeling calm and at peace.
Two members of our Crew are very active volunteers supporting EC as an organization. There were several instances where the depth of that commitment became more obvious. What sets EC apart from other communities I have explored is that it is truly in the hands of a very capable collective leadership.
Along the way, I gained an important insight, something I am learning rather late in life. It has been my assumption that to build community, to achieve communitas, we need to deeply understand ourselves and others. Now I realize that we can be, just be, with others in a healthy relationship without understanding them. Acceptance may be sufficient. I will continue to seek to understand others, but I hope to do so more lightly.
As individuals we now pay more attention to each other's comments elsewhere on EC. They have become more meaningful because we know the person behind the comment. I will try to remember that when I read comments made by strangers.
At our last meeting we talked about a reunion which has a high probability of happening. The thought of an annual reunion has also crossed my mind. And so has the thought of repeating the experience with four other EC members.