During her visit in March, 2018, my sister Nikki and I reminisced about our childhoods. She is two years older than I am and that is probably a factor in some differences in our memories. Also, of course, we each experienced life in our own unique way.
Nikki told me about the fainting spells she had as a toddler. She does not remember this herself but was told of them by Mom. She would faint while on a walk and Pa would carry her home. Once home, she had recovered and seemed fine again. The doctor told our mother that Nikki needed to be outside in the sunshine and did not investigate further.
Mom also told Nikki about an incident where she was put outside on the step by her. Mom did not want this difficult child any more. Our mother was not the patient, nurturing type.
Nikki has always had a feeling that Pa was very pleased that his second child was a daughter. She always felt safe, secure and protected. She remembers Mom telling Pa that he cared more about his daughter than his wife. This is quite different from my experience. I never felt understood or respected by Pa and my early years include some deep childhood hurts.
Nikki has clear memories of our journey by boat from Holland to Canada in May, 1954. She remembers relatives waving goodbye to us with white towels until we were out of sight. The ocean was rough enough to cause dishes to slide off the tables. Nikki and Bill slept in bunk beds with him on the top while I was in a hammock. She was afraid that he would crash down on her. The small cabin had a window and she was terrified that the ocean would come pouring in. She remembers going to a supervised play area for children every day and not wanting to go, not wanting to be separated from her mother and father. She remembers the trip as being traumatic but I have no memory of any of this at all.
Nikki remembers the train ride from Halifax to Belmont where we stayed with Herman Lam, our sponsor. She remembers being given coloring books on the train. We stayed there for a month until we moved to Old Barns where Pa had gotten a job working for Don Hamilton on his farm.
We lived in a very small house. Mom had to work hard and did laundry in a tub with a stomper. Once Nikki knocked over a glass of milk on freshly done laundry which reduced our mother to tears.
Nikki remembers having had a loose tooth which upset her. Pa removed it while she was sitting on his knee. As he held her, she again remembers feeling safe while I have no memory of ever having felt safe as a child.
Nikki remembers feeling homesick and feeling upset because all of our family had been left behind in Holland. She realized something of value had been left behind. She was angry about this and directed her emotion to her mother, probably because Pa was outside working. Nikki remembers Mom often writing letters to relatives in Holland and including pictures taken of us. We had no vehicle and she remembers family friends taking us to church.
In 1956 Pa bought his own farm in Beaver Brook. Nikki remembered how big our new home felt, which had been built to house two families. As we talked I remembered the hand pump in the second kitchen.
I remember going for drives on Sunday afternoons in the truck Pa had bought. I remember standing because there was not enough room for me to sit. This is one memory I have that Nikki doesn’t. But we both remembered Pa’s practice of vigorously flapping his arms around his chest to warm up after coming in from a cold winter day. We both remembered pleasant outings to Victoria Park in Truro and I remember taking swimming lessons. Nikki fondly remembered playing board games but my memory is again vague with my first distinct memory being at age five. We both remembered Pa rolling his own cigarettes every evening. We marvelled that he never got lung cancer from years of smoking all those unfiltered cigarettes.
We both remember an incident while driving to church on a Sunday morning in winter. We unexpectedly hit a stretch of black ice on the pavement. We spun completely around in several circles before hitting the snow bank at the side of the road. Nikki remembers being scared but I remember it as exciting.
Nikki wrote the following paragraphs:
I remember the first time Opa and Oma Swart came to visit in 1958. Tante Co, Mom’s younger sister and their cousin Jaap van der Caaij also came. Oma arrived wearing her fur coat so that she wouldn’t be cold on deck on the journey.
They came in May and stayed until November. Just prior to the return date Tante Co married local dairy farmer Frank Blaauwendraat and began a new life in a new country.
Several times a year we would receive a large parcel from Opa and Oma. There would be clothes made by Oma, dresses and blouses for me, toques, mittens and socks that she had knit for all three of us. Once there was a miniature Delft blue china tea set for me and a meccano set for Bill and John. Another time the parcel was so large it contained a wicker hassock for me and everything had been put inside it for shipping. There were always rolls of Wilhelmina peppermints and chocolate letters at Christmas time.
Mom and Pa never adjusted to Christmas as anything other than a religious holiday. The concept of gift giving did not become part of our holiday celebration. On one occasion in early December our church, locally known as the Dutch church, celebrated Sinterklass complete with a costumed St. Nicholas and ZwartePiet, his servant. I assume he brought gifts for children, though I don’t remember that. I do remember scrambling for peppernotjes. It was our custom to put our boots out on December 5th, hoping for something in exchange for the hay and carrots we stuffed into them for his horse.
For many years we had oliebollen on New Year’s Eve, a traditional Dutch food. Olliebollen are said to be the precursor of the North American doughnut.
As I read these words, they stimulate fragments of memories deep inside my brain. I remember Opa using an electric shaver, something I thought strange and fascinating as Pa only used shaving foam and a straight razor. I remember the meccano set but not how we got it.
We lived a short walk, about a quarter of a mile, to the one room Beaver Brook School. Because of the short distance we were required to go home for lunch. Nikki would have preferred to spend noon hour with the other students at school. Our older brother Bill had the responsibility of going to school early on winter mornings to start a fire so that the school would be warm by the time other children arrived. I have only vague memories of this. I have very few memories of being at the same school with an older brother and sister, something I find somewhat puzzling. I have more distinct memories of our teachers, first Mildred Burrows followed by Ada Mantle.
Nikki remembers a radio at school which played music for the children. She also remembers hearing the Baby Bulletin announcement of our new sibling. This must have been either Peter, born in June 1956 or Anne, born in 1960. Again, I have no memory of this.
Nikki and Bill went to Colchester County High School in Onslow for grades 7 to 12. I went to Bible Hill school for grades 7 and 8 and then on to Onslow. At CCHS, again I do not have clear memories of my brother and sister at school and I think we probably did not have very much interaction.
We have different memories of an incident when Nikki was 13 and I was 11. Nikki had disappeared with a boy, Dennis Yuill, who was about two years older than her. Mom was anxious and Pa was furious. He went looking for her and found her up the Hollow. Nikki remembers appreciating that Pa cared enough to look for her. I remember this incident as traumatic and personally feeling considerable angst.
In October, 1962 the whole world held its breath during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Nikki remembers praying with other girls who were childhood friends. I remember feeling fear as Mom listened anxiously to the news on the radio.
I remember that Nikki liked the music of The Beatles. Mom was typical of our parents’ generation and hated it. Nikki remembers standing on a chair with her ear very close to the radio so that she could listen without Mom hearing any of that awful sound.
At age 15 or 16 Nikki went to a dance at the Legion in Truro where The Lincolns, a local rock group played. This was not a permitted activity and Pa went looking for her. Once more, Nikki felt secure, protected by her concerned father.
Nikki joined the Cheerleaders during high school. I distinctly remember this being an activity frowned upon by Mom. Nikki has only vague memories of the disapproval.
During her high school years, Nikki had a boyfriend, Wayne Morris, who was an unacceptable seven years older than she was. She was a strong-willed teenager and would leave to go on a date. She would just walk out of the house and go. I remember this as a time of great conflict between a rebellious teenager and her parents. As a teenager I was already having bouts of depression which went unnoticed as the attention of Mom and Pa was focused on my older sister.
I remember that Nikki wanted to be a flight attendant upon graduation from high school. She wanted to fly around the world and learn foreign languages. But her parents wanted her to be a nurse or a teacher, the only acceptable career options for girls at that time. Nikki was not interested. After grade twelve she returned to high school for one more year as part of the Commercial Class which prepared students for secretarial work.
After high school Nikki moved away from home to Halifax where she got her first office job. She found a room in a boarding house. Pa drove to Halifax to check it out, again looking out for his daughter. Within walking distance was the Olympic Gardens, a dance hall known to the attendees as The Dirty O. It was there in 1967 that she met Robert Greener. That led to marriage and that is Nikki’s story to tell.